Saturday, October 24, 2015

Famous Fables

          When I was growing up, The Buffalo Evening News had an article on the comic page called Famous Fables. I don't remember if it was there every day or just once or twice a week. But it was just a paragraph or two long – usually an anecdote involving a celebrity or politician or someone else we comics readers would likely know from the news. I would read Famous Fables even if I did not know who the anecdote was about – it was a way of entertaining myself, procrastinating, before leaving the comic page and getting back to whatever needed doing around the house – chores, homework. The comic page was kind of like the internet today – one more incredibly important bit of trivia I just have to read about, and then I'll do my work!
          One day in senior year English class Erma B, Mrs. M, was ridiculing us on our ignorance of cultural references. Now there were a lot of bright students in the class – I would have thought she was just directing the insult at me, but from the look on her face and her stance at the podium, Mrs. M appeared to be ticked off with everyone. “I'll prove it to you!” she said.
          Then she took from her desk a piece of newspaper page and held it before her. Mrs M said it was Famous Fables from The Buffalo Evening News. Things started to look up for me! She was complaining about cultural references, and yet I read Famous Fables – perhaps I would be the exception to her complaint in this particular instance!
         Well that hope was quickly thwarted when she started reading. The story was completely unfamiliar to me. Either I had missed it when it appeared in the paper, or it was from a time before I started reading the comics – Mrs M might have had the article from years past.
          I will paraphrase what the Famous Fables article said. A famous person, I do not recall who, was asked to introduce a speaker at an important ceremony. His speaker was going to be the third one to talk. When the first man got up to introduce the first speaker, he said that his person would light up the audience's evening even more brightly than the full moon shining outside that night! Well how does one top that? The man who got up to introduce the second speaker said that his person would light up their evening even more brightly than the sun that shines during the day! Wow – you don't get any brighter than that! When the third man got up to introduce his speaker, he stood at the podium and simply said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you.....Joshua!”
          And that was the end of the Famous Fable. Mrs. M ended with a flourish and just glared at us. Her look was hostile – she seemed to truly despise us for our ignorance. The room was quiet. If anyone actually got the Famous Fable – and I'm thinking now that some of them did, I was unaware of it at the time. My brain was totally blank. What the heck did it mean?
         Mrs. M was kind enough to then explain. It was a Biblical reference – Joshua was fighting a great battle and he prayed to God for the sun and the moon to stand still – and they stood still until Joshua and his armies had victory over their enemies.
         So in the Famous Fables – the third speaker being introduced as Joshua implied that he was more powerful than the first two speakers who had been introduced as the sun and the moon – who else has ever made the moon and the sun stop their motion through the sky?
          Wow! That's a pretty good story!
          Mrs. M was upset that we did not know the simplest of references from the Bible. Even if we aren't particularly religious, we should not avoid the books that learned people talk about – we are ignorant otherwise!
         After that I decided my first son would be named Joshua – greater than the moon and the sun!
        And my children would know the Bible – not just for the cultural references, but also so they would know what everyone else around them is talking about historically, politically, religiously – and then they can also use if for their own faith if they so choose.
         Neither of my children is named Joshua, and I do have stories for how they, my daughters, got their names – both inspired by the Famous Fable tale.
       Would any of this have come to pass if not for Mrs. M and her disdain for a class that did not meet her standard of excellence?
297 20151024 Famous Fables


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