In
her later years, when my Grandmother was living in St. Augustine in a
house not far from my mother's place, Mom would drop by often, and of
course, on Granny's birthday, Mom would make a big deal out of her
big day. Now Granny was usually in a good mood, but once in a while,
she would have one of what we now call trigger moments. And
one year when Mom said, “Happy Birthday!” Granny started talking
about how she had never had a birthday cake – ever! Mom told
her she was quite mistaken – Mom had gotten something special for
Granny every birthday that she was in Florida – did that not count?
Granny
then shrugged her shoulders and said, “The twins had a birthday the
week before mine – and so all the celebrations and cake went to
them – by the next week, no one cared that it was my
birthday – so I never got a cake!” Oh my gosh! Her birthday took
her all the way back to her childhood – Granny still had a grudge
against her twin brothers for getting all the attention (or the
perception of them having gotten all the attention) at
birthday time! There was no convincing her that there were plenty of
birthdays since then that she, Granny, was the center of attention
and had her very own cake.
When
Mom told me that story I started to laugh because of course I
myself had made many of
Granny's birthday cakes over the years between my college days and
her moving to Florida.
One
day during my sophomore year in college, I was walking through the
Sears parking lot between classes. A junior, who was a business major
I knew from the rathskellers and TGIF drinking parties at the school,
was walking by, and we stopped and chatted for a while. All of a
sudden he asked me to the concert that weekend! Before I realized
that he was asking me on a date, I said, “Oh I can't, I'm hosting
my grandmother's 70th birthday that night!” He said okay
and walked off.
And
then it dawned on me that I had just turned a guy down for a date – and with
such a crazy story!
But it was true, and I could not have changed plans – so my answer
would not have been any different. He did not hate me after that, but
he never ventured to ask me out again – and that was probably a
good thing after all.
After Mom told me the story of Granny proclaiming to have never had a
birthday cake, I enjoyed the irony of my having given up a date
for Granny's 70th birthday, with cake, only to
have her lament later that no one ever celebrated her
birthday!
The
slight that Granny felt when her twin brothers got more attention
than she did was a long time ago. My missing a date? Not
so long ago (comparatively speaking)!
Clearly
I have my own trigger moments!
May
be someday we shall all have finally baked enough cake in this world
to make everyone happy!
97
20150407 Never had a cake
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