Thursday, September 10, 2015

There's a Hair on my Soap!

        You know when you want to tell someone about an article that you read in the New Yorker, and you start by saying, “There was a long article in the New Yorker recently....” ? After a while you realize that you always say long article, and the truth is all the articles in the New Yorker are long – so the adjective is redundant. (And this is not to complain about the New Yorker articles – I love them. But I do confess that I did not renew my subscription this year because the price went up to $99 which is beyond my budget, sigh.)
          So I was about to start this blog post with the phrase “there was a guy I dated briefly in college,” but then I realized dated briefly was redundant – anyone I went out with in college was only for a brief time. So
          There was a guy I dated in college – he and I actually had a lot in common. We were both goofy, all the time telling jokes, one-upping each other's comments for laughs – but this happened only when we had an audience – people in class or lab or a rathskeller. When it was just the two of us, we actually found each other kind of boring. And that is sad.
          But I do remember most of the funny stuff.
          Every time I am in the shower nowadays, I am reminded of a story of his – how is that for a legacy? Back in the early seventies, most houses still only had one bathroom. So this meant that the same tub was used for every shower or bath each person in the family took.             Not at all unusual.
          I don't know what brought the subject up, but one day this young man said that there were bars of soap piling up in the soap dish part of the shower at his house. Members of his family were opening up new soap rather than using what was already in the shower.
         Why were they doing that?
         Well, if the bar of soap already in the shower had a hair on it – the new person entering the shower assumed it was a pubic hair – and probably not that person's pubic hair and that person did not want to use soap which had someone else's pubic hair on it. So that family member would bring a fresh bar of soap into the shower, and it would get used by subsequent shower-takers in the family until such time a hair stayed on that bar of soap which prompted a new new bar to be introduced to the shower.
          And that is how several bars of soap could end up in the shower at one time – each having on it one hair of presumed pubic origin from someone other than the current shower-taker.
         If someone were to remove the hairs in an effort to get the soap used up, the soap still sat there because everyone would know the reason it was there was because a hair had been stuck on it sometime in the near past.
         Who wants to use soap that once touched another person's pubes?
         My friend thought this was amusing. He might have even experimented with this phenomenon – perhaps he was the one who rinsed the hairs off to see if the soap would get used after that. He may have stuck the hairs on the soap just to find out how quickly a new bar was unwrapped – was it the very next person to take a shower? Was it the same family member every time getting the new bar of soap?
         Come to think of it when putting this memory to page, this is more of a theory than actual fact – we don't know if it was hair or something else that caused the soap to accumulate in the shower – but it sure is a good story!
         When I step into the shower these days, I am reminded of this anecdote of the soap and the alleged pubic hairs. And I marvel at how different everything is now. Today most homes have two or three bathrooms with shower facilities. Everyone in the family no longer uses the same shower, and thus, that takes all the mystery away from who left what where and why.
         Perhaps, just for the sake of scientific curiosity, I should put a hair on the soap in the guest bathroom, and leave a generous supply of new wrapped bars of soap within comfortable reach, and see what happens?

253 20150910 There's a Hair in my Soap!


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