Sunday, November 8, 2015

The Porta Potty Always Rings Twice

        Here are two stories I found clipped together in my story notebook which took place twenty years apart but ironically have the same theme.
        Story 1 – the Des Soye family dinner table in the early ‘70’s. Mom is talking
        Now Den, you really need to find a way to pick up a few extra dollars while you are in college. Think of a niche that needs to be filled – a service you can provide better than anyone else.
        College kids are always busy – always in a hurry – running to classes, speeding off to their own jobs. What can you do, Den, to help these busy people?
        One idea that comes to my mind is that of a porty-potty. College kids are just too rushed to go looking for a bathroom when nature calls, but if the bathroom were to come to them, how convenient would that be!
        You have seen those porta-potties used on construction sites or at festival locations. You could get one of those and put it on wheels. You could wheel it around campus and charge classmates to use it!
        If you didn’t want to put the unit itself on wheels, you could put it in a bathtub on wheels and decorate it with pretty curtains. Everyone else would be jealous that they did not think of this enterprising idea before you did!
        And why stop with the pretty curtains? You could put up a cutesy sign and play music to announce your whereabouts, kind of like when the ice cream man enters the neighborhood.
        I think it would definitely increase your popularity at college, and who knows, you might even become a campus or cult hero!
        We are serious about this! Why do you sit there and look like we have to be joking? The porta-potty on campus is a very workable idea, and for you not to see the potential in this only proves that you will never amount to more than the lump that you are sitting there right now.
        Story 2 – a meeting at work, September 1995, a department manager is talking,
        With the Olympics coming to Atlanta next year, is there something that our company can do to tap into a business aspect of the big event? Is there some niche that we can fill that can provide revenue to the company?
        Certainly there will be a lot of drug testing needed. Labs will be needed to provide that service. All of the athletes will have to be tested, perhaps tested repeatedly. Getting tested on site would be a valuable service. Instead of seeking a lab to go to for drug tests, we can go to them!
        This is a great idea. Someone look into what equipment would be needed to do the drug testing. We can do some research to figure out how to promote the company and let the Olympics powers that be know we are here to cater to all their drug testing needs.
        Hey! Maybe we could set up porta-potties around town, and the athletes could give us the urine samples when required, and we could get them to the lab in a hurry and do the testing immediately.
        Of course, careful monitoring of the samples, the athletes, and the porta-potties would have to be done. This would have to be top notch testing. And it could really enhance the company’s reputation.
        You know, I bet all of this is something Denise could take care of.
        Everyone think about it and get some info together, we’ll talk about it again at our next meeting next Monday.
End of Story 2

        My notes say that this second story was typed up in September of 1995. The ’96 Summer Olympics seem like forever ago now. The porty-potty facilitated urine testing was not brought up again at the next meeting. But as evidenced here, the memory has lived on.
        And so that is how twice on my life opportunity knocked clearly and loudly and I just sat like a lump each time - passing up my chance for cult status as the lady with the potty on wheels!
312 20151108 The Porta Potty Always Rings Twice



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