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| Retirement on Tap |
When
my younger daughter started to read, I felt a sense of emptiness come
over me – I had fulfilled my life's purpose: have two kids and
raise them to the point where they could read. Once they could read –
they would belong to the world and would be fine whether I am
in the world with them or not.
This
feeling that I was cheating the world by continuing to breathe its
air traveled with me for a while when one day I heard, completely
unsolicited by me mind you, that still, small voice you read
about in the Bible, and that still, small voice said, “you need to
be a good example.”
“No,
Lord! Take me now! My purpose is not yet fulfilled? Giving birth and
making sure they can read is not enough? I have to be a good example?
That's too hard!!!”
And
the voice said, “yeah.”
How
could I ever be anything but a good example of a bad example?
After
my younger daughter learned to read, I got a job in a lab. A good job
– we served each other well. The hours were flexible, and I went in
very early in the mornings while the girls got themselves ready
and off to school. So I could come home early – taking them to
piano lessons and orthodontist appointments and other after school
activities. And I worked and got paid for lots of overtime to
pay the bills and the extras.
When
the girls went to college, each in her own time attended UGA on the
HOPE scholarship. Each wondered what she should major in, and I
wistfully told them to spend their fours years following their dreams
– afterward they will have a piece of paper that will either let
them keep following their dreams or else get them a job that will pay
the bills and at least they had those college years to give those
dream-job pursuits their best shot.
To
my surprise they took those words to heart and today Sarah and Amanda
are living their dreams!
And
so this past year, my twenty-second year at the lab, Mike and I have
talked a lot about retirement. Wouldn't it be nice to retire now and
have some years of good health left to begin another venture, another
career? We flip-flopped often on whether or not to do it – you
know, a steady paycheck is very attractive.
During
this past year, each daughter in her own turn has sat me down and
said, “You know, my mother once told me to follow my dreams –
perhaps it is time she took her own advice.”
So with
the girls' encouragement and Mike's blessing, on August 3rd
I gave notice at the lab that I would be leaving, retiring to pursue
my storytelling interests and see where this new journey will take
me.
Upon
my announcement, I felt a sense of peace – I felt so light, free!
And it lasted for all of about 12 hours.
My co-workers, as they heard the news, congratulated me, told me how
happy they were for me, and how they envied me – how wonderful it
must be to have the means to begin a new life. I was touched by their
good wishes.
But
the sense of peace was gone. And the still, small voice was
back. It said, “you need to be a good example.”
I
have to show everyone a great life after retirement? Show them it is
not too scary to follow their dreams too?
Dang!
Because,
you know, my default plan was to merely catch up on all the
sleep I have missed all these years.
Today,
August 14th, was my last day of employment at the lab. I
walked to the edge of terra firma and stepped off. I'm in the air now
– sometimes I will be a good example of a bad example, but mostly,
I'm going to fly!
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20150814 Life's Purpose?
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