Commencement

     It was 40 years ago today that I graduated from college – Canisius College class of 1975 – Bachelor of Arts degree in Biology! The first in my generation of Des Soyes. Of course, since then many Des Soyes have received multiple and/or higher degrees than mine. But I am proud to have kind of led the way. It is always amazing to see what has become of all of us after the humble beginnings of my Dad and his seven siblings, and my Mom and her two brothers!

      Graduation was in Memorial Auditorium in downtown Buffalo – the same place where we classmates had spent so many a Saturday night cheering on the Griffins in basketball. The same place, where under those folding chairs set up for graduation, was the ice that the Buffalo Sabres played hockey on.

       Our parents and extended families filled the auditorium. 

       There had already been a senior party at the school with teachers and parents; there had even been a mass to bless us all in our caps and gowns. The proceedings would have been too tritefully ceremonial if they weren't also so darned exciting!

      I had actually fooled some Jesiuts into thinking I deserved a college diploma!

     The governor of New York State was the commencement speaker. Hugh Carey – or Uncle Huey – as I called him – if he did not have that nickname, I am sure I would have forgotten by now who spoke or who our governor was at the time, (I do not remember who was the commencement speaker for high school graduation!)

      And I was likely not to remember Uncle Huey’s message that day anyway, but there were other factors involved when he actually spoke – hearing what Uncle Huey had to say was impossible.

       You see, we seniors were seated alphabetically, and our names were not announced individually to approach the stage and receive diplomas – so we were not distracted with having to get up and walk. We stayed where we were, alphabetically in our seats through the entire ceremony. And the class was not so big that I did not know anyone sitting nearby – two close friends who did not really know each other but who both knew me - guys whose last names also began with D were within chatting distance – they were close enough to goof on me the whole time.

      “What happened after the dance the other night? You disappeared!” He was talking about the Senior Ball – I actually went to a prom-like function in college! I asked a junior to be my date.

      “We were with another couple, and the guy couldn't get the car started, and that's why we did not meet you later.”

      “Do you know how phony that story is?” both guys were just about rolling in the aisle laughing at me, knowing that I was not making up this pathetic turn of events.

      “I heard you took a room at a hotel.”

      The next few lines were delivered one at a time in between the two Ds' heckling.

      “You can believe what you want; this guy was showing off this fancy car he had borrowed from a friend for the night; and he accidentally flooded the engine trying to get it started; and then it would not start at all; so he called a cab to get a ride to his own car; by then all he wanted was for us all to go home; I was dropped off at my house with nothing more than a peck on the cheek!”

      “I've tried that story a few times myself – no one ever believes it – why don't you just admit you went to a motel!”

      By that time, I was red with embarrassment from the teasing; I was stammering out stuff that coming from anyone else would have been a lie and so it was hilarious to my friends because what I was saying was so pitifully true. Both the aftermath of the senior ball and the graduation ceremony ribbing could only have happened to me!

      And in a way, this was a closing ceremony of its own – the attention the two D guys were giving me was endearing, reminding me of the four years we and all our friends had just been through. After that, our lives would go in different directions, and our friendships would not be the same, if they should last at all. But to be teased mercilessly during those final moments of college, was a just and loving closing act before commencement to the real world!

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