Sunday, May 10, 2015

Johnson Floor Wax

     The junior high was in Hamburg – the next town north of Boston, New York – so it was a longer ride to school every day. Our house was at the bottom of the hill on Zimmerman - when I heard the bus head up the hill every morning, I knew it was time to put my coat on, grab my books and lunch, and mosey over to the bus stop two houses down – we were the last stop for the bus after it went to the top of the hill, picking up kids, go across a side street picking up kids, and then back down the hill again in a different subdivision, and then to us. After that it took the old Route 219 and into Hamburg.
      Once on the bus, I usually sat next to Nina – we were in sixth grade together and then in seventh grade classes together. It was good when the seat next to Nina was vacant because I could scoot into it and not feel too self conscious. And we could chat. But if the bus was full, and all the front seats were taken, I would have to go all the way to the back to find a seat. The back was where the smokers sat. And the bus driver let them smoke.
      Yeah, I was very self conscious then.
      Even though we moved from class to class in seventh grade – the students were in groups and we moved from class to class in a group – pretty much all the same kids were in all my classes. My daughters had a similar experience with middle school thirty years later in their mega school district here in Gwinnett.
      I can still picture my seventh grade homeroom and the male English teacher, although his name escapes me. We were not alphabetical – like later homeroom classes – because I can remember the names of two of the boys who were in there - one whose last name began with a W and one with a Y start to his last name. Somehow, I was voted secretary of the homeroom the second semester – perhaps it was a non-popularity contest and the kids just liked the other person nominated for secretary less than me? Anyway, my duties were to take attendance every morning and send anyone who came in past the bell to the office! I was a pain in the butt about that.
      Gym class is a total blank right now; in home ec – I do remember we made toast one day, and then we had to eat the toast, clean up, and leave the stove spotless – all in 40 minutes. But I have to admit, even though the toast had nothing to do with the stove that day, a clean stove is always nice. Art class was taught by a teacher who was the mother of one of my classmates. I remember a boy sitting on the bench behind me in that class who had the same kind of haircut my Dad would give my brothers – the hair fell across half of the forehead in a slant – but on Sundays, before church, if you took a wet comb to that hair, it would go back off the forehead - the slanted hair giving some lift and shape and it would stay there looking neat and well groomed. I felt sorry for that boy – other kids were sporting longer hair which was in style then – but his Dad was like mine, with barber clippers at home!
      Social Studies was taught by another mother of one of my classmates. But I recall nothing else about it. Mrs, or maybe it was Miss, Wohl was my math teacher. She was young and had the strict older math teacher in the next room as her mentor.
      I remember complaining to Mom one day about Ms Wohl, “and when she wants to start class she says, People!' Mom looked at me and said, “what do you want her to call you, boys and girls?” Well, no, of course I did not want her to call us boys and girls – I just wanted to complain!
      One day toward the end of the school year, I saw a list on the board in math class of all the kids in Ms Wohl's other math classes who had homework assignments that were not turned in. It had never occurred to me not to do my homework! What a novel idea! And so I started not turning in my homework either! I knew I would do all right on the tests. But the late assignments got to a point were I could not be forgiven – and my parents and the strict teacher in the next room found out about it. The strict teacher saw to it that I was moved to a lower level math class the next year. And my parents started calling me “Math Dummy.”
       A term of endearment, I assure you.
      But now you know the truth – it was not math that I was dumb about – it was all of me being dumb and just some really weird excitement in seeing how much I could get away with – or not get away with.
      Science class was more fun than sixth grade science had been. All these many years later, however, the only thing I remember about seventh grade science is our patient, kindly male teacher and the day he asked one of the girls in the class to hand him the note she was trying to pass!
      I know what the note said. It was a joke. Seventh grade humor. Totally juvenile. In the form of a riddle. You have been warned. The riddle was as follows:

What takes five minutes and lasts nine months?

      Give up? The answer is Johnson Floor Wax. Yeah, the science teacher was not amused. Hopefully he did not wonder if we would ever amount to anything! I must confess, at that age, I knew what the innuendo was in the joke but didn't really get the joke because of the “5 minutes” part. Always the optimist, I guess.


130 20150510 Johnson Floor Wax

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